Today’s Thoughts…

June 17, 2014// I just realized how long it’s been since I’ve entered a post. I guess I’ve been having trouble focusing lately, more than normal. I just got the results of another urine culture, second one since I got out of the hospital, and I still have a resistant bacterial infection in my kidney. It’s difficult to treat because I’m allergic to most antibiotics. The culture showed only two antibiotics that would be effective against it, at least only two that are available in pill form. It’s documented that I am allergic to one of them. A prescription is waiting at the pharmacy for me for the other drug. I’m nervous to take it because everything I read says if you are allergic to the one drug, not to take this either. But the doctor thinks it’s worth the risk. If I’m not able to take this one, I’ll have to go back to receiving medication by IV again. If not inpatient, then drive to an infusion center every day to receive it. Scared to try the new pills but don’t want the alternative.  Some times this whole thing really sucks.

My oncologist’s nurse finally returned my call today, I’ve left messages over the last week. She said what I already knew, they want to schedule a CT with contrast to get a better look at the lesion that lit up on the PET scan.  They’ve been watching the lab results from the blood my PCP has drawn over the last couple weeks, making sure my kidney function is stable again. Who knows with yet another infection. But as soon as they think that’s ok they will schedule the CT. A little concerned since I had the PET scan several weeks ago now.  My pain level has increased and I’ve been feeling all kinds of new pains and sensations.  Likely because the weather is warm now and I’ve been much more active.  My mind, of course, keeps telling me it’s because the cancer has grown like wildfire and has taken over the whole region again.

Prayer is that it was not cancer that lit up the PET scan, that they will be unable to find anything on the CT scan. If I can’t have that, then second choice would be that at least has not changed.

I’ve been thinking a lot about having chemo and the heat of the summer.  Because of all the changes I’ve gone through from the last treatment, I cannot tolerate heat at all. I’m just imagining trying to wear a wig or other head cover, with sweat rolling down my face.  I don’t think I could do it. But walking around bald isn’t really an option either.  UUGGGGHHH!!

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